A little over a year ago in a Finding God in Comics Panel at Oak
City Comicon, someone in the crowd asked us to talk about
what Comic Book character we identified with the most. I
seriously don’t think I had ever really put much thought into
that question before that time. Surprisingly, it didn’t take me
that long to settle on an answer comfortably. While I've spent
the majority of my life as a Batman fan, I think the character I
identify with the most would be Red Hood, or Jason Todd. This
is what I told the panel:
“As much as I want to be the hero, the pure, noble,
selfless archetype of justice and sacrifice, I'm a lot more
flawed than that. I have darkness, and frustration, and
bitterness. I lack the discipline to execute my life on the
level Batman does, but I really do want to try. I really do
want to be a hero, just sometimes I get in my own way.
Even though I’m a broken, disgraced, sinful member of
God’s family, I’m still family. Even though Jason is a
murderous, violent, embittered branch of the Batman
family, he is still family. His brokenness, but acceptance
into a family speaks volumes to me.”
I’ve been a fan of Jason since the 2003’s epic Batman arc
“Hush.” I had taken a decade long sabbatical from comics, and
Hush was the first story that brought me back in. In a
marketing ploy in the 80’s, DC actually let fans vote whether or
not to kill or save Jason Todd, who was Batman’s second Robin
at the time. Jason was a more reckless, calloused, and
dangerous sidekick to the Dark Knight than his previous pixie-
shoe-wearing predecessor. In a narrow vote, callers paid a land
line phone charge in order to clearly express that they wanted
Jason to die, and he did. He stayed dead the majority of my
life.
At that point, he had been dead the entire time I had read
comic books. Tim Drake had long been Robin, and Jason had
long been a memory, or a cautionary tale. A key part of the
story of hush is that someone had dug up Jason Todd’s dead
body, and that the mystery tormenter of Batman known as
Hush was revealed to be a resurrected Jason Todd. By the end
of the battle, they revealed that the mystery figure was Clay
Face, but Jason’s body was still missing. Shortly after, a
mysterious new opposition appeared in Batman’s life and
violently took down Gotham’s underworld. Like, heads in a
duffle bag violent. After a long game of cat and mouse, we
finally saw that Red Hood was in fact the long dead Robin.
Even further, we see that Jason was in fact the one battling
Batman in Hush, but he tagged out with Clayface in order to
keep the mystery going and let Jason continue to set up his
own agenda. (FYI the definitive origin on Jason’s resurrection
and return can be found in Batman Annual #25 by Judd
Winick).
Thus, my 16-year relationship with the Red Hood had begun. I
saw so much of me in him. I’m not a violent murderer, but
there are plenty of times I’ve chosen my ways over my
Father’s. There have been plenty of times I’ve chosen to do
things I completely knew were wrong, yet still found myself
being offered grace and a welcome back into a family. I don’t
have a lot of blood family that I'm close to, but I do have a
small patch of misfit friends and associates that would fight for
me to the death. I’ve worn a lot of labels, but I am still figuring
out who I am. I’m not a hero. I’m broken, but I haven’t given
up yet.
At the end of Batman Annual #25, Jason comes to the
conclusion that Bruce is not grieved or broken over his loss,
which was inaccurate. If he had spent a few more minutes in
his presence, he would have learned the truth. Instead, he
rejected who he was and took on the mantle of Red Hood, a
throwback to a moniker used by the Joker in the early days and
a direct slam against who Batman had trained him to be. While
Red Hood stuck, he spent a lot of time trying to figure out who
he was. Not long after adopting that identity, he donned the
mantle of Nightwing in the One Year Later storyline, which was
not a favorite concept of Dick Grayson.
Things perpetually got weird from the situation, but it
eventually boiled down to him trying to discover who he was,
even if it meant simply mimicking his predecessor. Shortly
after that, Jason donned another Bat-Family moniker of Red
Robin. The events of Countdown gave him a fresh start to
adopt the mantle once held by Dick Grayson in Kingdom Come.
It worked well for a while for him; he even had a semblance of
a team and redemption, but he eventually abandoned that
quest to return home to his Red Hooded roots.
Shortly after this, Batman died at the hands of Darkseid. Kind
of. It’s complicated. Regardless, that left a bat-shaped vacuum
over Gotham and resulted in Jason ever so shortly becoming
Batman. Of course, that didn’t last, and Jason went back to
Red Hood again. Since then, he had a brief stint as “Wingman,”
but his role as Red Hood, I think, is concretely in place now.
The legalities of his actions and proximity to his bat-family may
shift occasionally, but in general, he has found himself.
I can really identify with this concept of continually struggling
to find who you are. I understand what it means to continually
struggle to not only know your identity, but to truly see where
you belong in the world. I’ve struggled with this concept many
times in a variety of manners. I was always vainly trying to find
my identity in some role, relationship, or accomplishment. I
thought becoming a missionary, youth pastor, college pastor,
pastor, husband, father, author, screen writer, award winner,
or any other label would make me feel more at home in my
own skin, but it really didn't. I remember leaving the life of
being a missionary with a Bible camp, thinking becoming a
pastor would make me more mature, or make me feel like I
had arrived. I was wrong.
Being married or a father doesn’t make you more faithful or
better at relationships. Having a degree in the Bible doesn’t
make you a better follower of God. No label or responsibility I
place on myself will make me more content or comfortable
until I'm okay with who I truly am. As I write this, I’m a couple
weeks away from accepting an award for being one of the “40
Under 40” for Fayetteville, NC. It’s an award and
acknowledgment of the most successful and influential people
in my region under 40. I first heard of it a couple years ago
when two of the peers I work with in art and community
received the award the same year. I thought then, “I want
this.” Now that I’ve gotten it, it doesn’t change anything. Just
like Jason switching masks every few seasons was searching for
something, I do it too with less costumes. I really have to come
to the place where I'm okay with who I am, and not just who I
think I am or who I want to be, but who God says I am. Look at
this powerful statement Paul made to the Colossian church:
“For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily
form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness.
He is the head over every power and authority.” -
Colossians 2:9-10.
I have read over those verses hundreds of times, yet it just hit
me sitting here at this moment the power of the statement,
“...in Christ you have been brought to fullness.” Let that sink in.
Just like fullness of God dwells in Jesus, we have been brought
to fullness in God. You aren’t incomplete. You aren’t lacking.
You don’t have to make up for anything. You don’t have to
earn more. You don’t have to overcompensate for your
failures. You have been brought to fullness in Christ. There is
nothing more for you to accomplish on that front. Take a step
back and assess what you are trying to accomplish and the
identity you are longing to find. Think about the level you are
longing to achieve. If you know Jesus Christ, you are already at
that fullness. He is over every authority and power, and you
have been brought to fullness in Him. On our own, we will
always be falling short, but in Him, we are in fullness. Accept
that for yourself. You will never find a title, status, or
achievement that will give you more joy, peace, and
satisfaction than who you are in God.
When Jason isn’t struggling to figure out who he is, he is often
struggling to figure out where he belongs. Depending on the
issue you are reading, Jason can go from being beaten half to
death on a rooftop by Batman, to sitting down with Damian,
Duke, and Bruce at a fast food place where Damian gets a Red
Hood action figure in his kid’s meal (yes, that actually
happened). For better or for worse, his bat family is there for
him, even in times of heavy friction. After Jason lost his cool
and shot Penguin in the face, Batman was ready to end him
and cast him into prison forever. Within a couple issues, Bruce
is sitting right beside him in a restaurant lovingly comforting
his adopted son through a painful loss. No matter how many
times Jason has utterly failed at being not only Bruce’s but also
Batman’s prodigy, Batman had given him forgiveness and more
chances than I can count.
Bruce’s constant forgiveness, even in the midst of outrage and
disappointment, is humbling. There is no more beautiful and
humbling love than to be welcomed home after you have
knowingly failed big time. While Bruce isn’t a perfect father,
God is.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will
forgive us our sins and purify us from all
unrighteousness.” - 1 John 1:9.
That verse is a promise. It is a promise from God that anytime
you want to come back home, you can. No matter how far
you’ve gone, no matter how many times you’ve sinned, failed,
or shot Oswald Cobblepot in the face, you will be welcomed
with open arms. Not only would you be welcomed back, but be
forgiven like it never happened. Not only would you be
forgiven, but made clean from the entire experience.
As grateful as Jason should be for Bruce, we should be so much
more grateful for our Father welcoming us back into the
proverbial Batcave. Jason may find constant support and
forgiveness in Bruce, but he found his home in his friends. In its
various incarnations, The Outlaws have been the best place for
Jason to thrive. Living and leading beyond the shadow of
Batman’s cape, and beyond the pressure of his failures, he
made a family of his friends. Roy, Starfire, Artemis, Bizzaro,
and the few others occasionally sprinkled in the mix, the
Outlaws are home. Personally speaking, I think the
Bizzaro/Artemis/Dark Trinity version of The Outlaws is the
best, but you really can’t deny the true friendship that Jason
and Roy shared. Jason and Roy to me are the modern
equivalent of David and Jonathan.
“As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of
Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan
loved him as his own soul. Then Jonathan made a
covenant with David, because he loved him as his own
soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was
on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his
sword and his bow and his belt.” - 1 Samuel 18:2-4.
These two former titans were the brothers they both needed.
The one they would always be able to count on. With the
aftermath of Heroes in Crisis, Roy is gone and Jason is hollower
because of it. Prior to Roy’s departure though, Jason had been
at his peak with Artemis and Bizzaro at his side. With Roy and
Starfire, Jason just had peers. With Artemis and Bizzaro, Jason
not only had a peer, but for its initial arc, Jason was the father
figure to Bizzaro. That was a role he hadn’t played before, but
he played it well. Bizzaro needed his “Red Him,” and Jason
grew because of it. This team grew into a solid family. They
were there for each other in the adversity, and that’s when
they needed it most.
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a
time of adversity.” - Proverbs 17:17.
Sadly, the team up didn’t last. I am hoping for a return soon.
Jason isn’t good alone. Neither am I. None of us are really. The
first negative statement in the Bible is that it’s not good for
man to be alone. When we are alone, we tend to implode into
ourselves. I can attest to this over and over. I am better with a
team. I am better with friends. I am better with support. I
know God never leaves me, but when I can have someone side
by side with me in the process, I'm a much better Hector. I can
see thousands of people a day at a Comicon, but at the end of
the night, if I end up alone in a hotel room away from all the
people that love and support me, I'm a hot mess. With Bizzaro
and Artemis displaced, he was alone. With his failure to
Batman lingering over him, he lacked direction. Roy’s death
was the nail in the proverbial coffin that left Jason in a place of
newfound loneliness and isolation. He fell back into his ultra-
violent ways (and subsequently started dressing like a Mortal
Kombat character). Everything he had become with his new
family was falling away. I know that happens with me; I
encourage you, don’t let it happen with you.
Build friendships and cultivate relationships. Don’t be afraid to
be the first one to text or call. Don’t be afraid to put yourself
on the line for relationships that might not last forever. If you
can build beneficial friendships that only last for a season, it’s
worth it. A solid friendship for a season is definitely better than
being alone for a season. Like Roy and Bizzaro, even the best
friendships don’t last forever. The big thing to remember is
that when they end, don’t go back to being alone. Find new
friends, build new relationships, and don’t go backwards.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good
return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one
can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has
no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together,
they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm
alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can
defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly
broken.” - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.
I see a lot of me in Jason. Life is hard. It’s crazy. It doesn’t
always go like we plan. It may not always seem fair. But we
don’t have to keep searching for a new identity. We don’t have
to run from home. We don’t have to be alone. We keep going.
My favorite Red Hood quote of all time is a simple one.
“When life shoots you out of a cannon, you know what
you need to do? Land.”
This is a simple statement. You can’t control the circumstances
around you. You can’t control what others do. You can control
how you respond. Land. Stop fighting against all the things that
have gone wrong in your life. Start thinking what you will do
when you land.
“You can be part of the solution or part of the problem.
But you can’t be both.” - Red Hood.