Digital Circus, Ragatha: Knowing God and Yourself. Guest Chapter By Ben Albritton

*Spoilers for the final episode of The Amazing Digital Circus*

If you’ve been around the internet in the last few years, you may have heard of a show on YouTube and Netflix called The Amazing Digital Circus. It can be easy to think it’s a kids show because of all the bright colors and cartoony-looking characters, but in reality, it’s very much an adult show. I mean, the premise of the show is that a group of humans are trapped in a digital world with a weird AI that makes them go on adventures to keep them from going crazy. The Amazing Digital Circus also explores deep subjects with relatable characters that are surprisingly complex. And one of those relatable characters that we’re discussing in this devotion is Ragatha.

Ragatha is a Raggedy Anne-style ragdoll who always strives to be optimistic and kind towards everyone. Especially the newcomer to the circus, Pomni. But despite being a nice person, she doesn’t seem to be close friends with anyone in the circus. The reason why is because Ragatha is also a people pleaser.

“People pleaser” is a term used for people who put other people’s feelings, wants, and needs above their own. At first glance, it doesn’t sound that bad, but it usually comes at the cost of their own health and well being. People pleasing also usually stems from a fear of rejection, disappointment, or conflict from others.

As someone who struggles with people pleasing, I relate a lot to Ragatha because I have also struggled to make lasting connections with people. Me having undiagnosed autism for many years also didn’t help, but either way, it is something I’m still working on. I’m working hard to stop people pleasing and start disappointing people! Just kidding… kind of.

Anyway, enough about me, let’s get back to Ragatha. In episode 5, we find out a large reason why she’s a people pleaser. Turns out she comes from a fairly wealthy family, and her mother was emotionally abusive towards her.

“I’m sure she doesn’t miss me. I certainly don’t miss the yelling… and the berating… and guilt-tripping…”

-Ragatha

And we see a bit more evidence of that later in the episode. The gang is playing softball against the “evil” versions of themselves, and Ragatha says this after “Evil Pomni” catches the ball she hit.

“I can’t believe I hit it right to her. I’m supposed to be better than that.”

-Ragatha

While it isn’t said outright, we can gather that Ragatha’s mother put a lot of high standards onto her because of their wealth and influence. And those high standards made her believe that she won’t get love or approval unless she’s polite and good enough.

It is easy to think this way about God sometimes. When we mess up, our guilt can make us think that God is disappointed in us. We wallow in our guilt and sin instead of bringing it to Him. But there is good news! While it is true that we fall short of His standards, that doesn’t get in the way of God’s love for us!

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

-Romans 8:38-39

It is very easy to fall into the people pleaser mindset towards God. We can feel like God’s love for us is based on what we do, instead of it being unconditional. And to be clear, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t strive to please God, because that is what we are called to do! But having a people pleaser mindset doesn’t lead to a genuine relationship with God because we try to earn His love and approval when it is a free gift. All we have to do is accept it.

I know it’s not that easy for some people, including me. Despite what we read and hear, we sometimes still have that fear that God is disappointed in us. Ragatha thought the same way towards the others. So what did it take for Ragatha to believe that she was loved? Actions.

On the final episode, after Jax abstracts (which is the equivalent of him dying/losing his mind), Ragatha shares with Pomni that she tried to comfort Jax after another character named Ribbit abstracted. But he got her to promise to not say Ribbit’s name again. Instead of helping him grieve and comforting him, she ended up agreeing to hide it because she didn’t want to lose another friend. But ironically, that was when their friendship truly ended. The guilt she felt from that decision made Ragatha think that she was a terrible friend.

Pomni comforted Ragatha by telling her that she still considered her to be her closest friend. And as Ragatha was responding casually, Pomni hugged her with tears in her eyes. Ragatha was shocked for a moment, but then she started crying and hugged her back. It is a powerful scene that still makes me cry, to be honest.

The fact that Ragatha broke down after Pomni hugged her shows that she probably never had a genuine connection like that before. Pomni could have stopped with her words of comfort, but the action of hugging her told Ragatha just how much Pomni cares for her.

So now, instead of just looking at words, let’s look at what actions God has done to prove that He loves us and cares about us.

“But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

-Romans 5:8

As Christians, we know that Jesus died for our sins, but we need to realize is that He didn’t need to. We never deserved His love. There is nothing we could ever do to compel God to love us, and yet He still thinks so highly of us that He sent His own Son to die so that we may have a close relationship with Him.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.”

-John 3:16

If I had a son, I imagine I would do almost anything for him. But sending my own son to die for a bunch of people who have wronged me in the past? That would be incredibly difficult, if not impossible, for me to do. And yet, God did it because He loves us. Yes, we are all sinners who deserve hell, but we also matter to God. God’s love is not based on what we have done for Him; it’s based on what He has done for us.

There is one last point I want to make. In the final episode, it’s discovered that the characters are actually digital brain scans put onto digital avatars. They’re not actual people. And at the end of the episode, they are told how the real versions of themselves are doing. This is how they describe Ragatha’s real self, Suzanne:

“She’s made many friends, and it looks like she has a strong, genuine connection with them. She seems happy, like she understands who she is, and that she matters to people.”

If we understand who we are and remember that we matter, it can lead to a happy, genuine relationship with not only other people, but with God as well.

To wrap things up, in order to have a genuine connection with God, we need to understand who God is and who we are. To end this devotion, I would like remind you of these truths to help you understand God and yourself.

In His unchanging ways, God is loving. God is merciful. God is graceful. God is not annoyed. God is not disappointed. God sent His Son to die for you.

As a Christian, you are loved. You are forgiven. You are a new creature. You are not annoying. You are not a disappointment.

You are His child.

By Ben Albritton

Hi! I’m Ben Albritton, or I also go by Bendy. I am an autistic, nerdy Christian who grew up going to church with my parents and two older sisters in North Carolina. After high school, I went to a Bible school called the Evangelical Institute in South Carolina, where I got an associate’s degree in Biblical Studies and a better relationship with God. Currently, my interests include video games, cartoons, singing, reading, writing stories, learning about myself, and more! I am also the co-host of a MLP podcast called My Little Rankings. My hope is to one day get a job where I can create stories in order to help, encourage and inspire people.