Haunting of Hill House: Haunted by Unforgiveness
Normally I tend to avoid writing about horror or scary movies,
but there is something special about The Haunting of Hill
House. Outside of the scary, it was a strong enough story to
really compel my family. My wife is an extremely early sleeper
and she made me stay up two separate nights till 3 am so she
could keep going in the story. Bravo, Netflix. Bravo.
It was a story filled with tension and a few big scares, but the
real story wasn’t about the horror. It was about family. It’s a
story of a family that was truly haunted. Yes, they dealt with
some ghosts and apparitions in their one-time summer home,
but what truly haunted the Crane family was their own
unforgiveness. I know that some of the ghosts did pursue the
family in the years that followed their initial time in the house,
but their unforgiveness is what truly wreaked havoc on them
as a family and made all the other terror possible.
Before I watched it, I saw some review articles that stated the
show was giving people anxiety issues, and some people were
even having spontaneous vomitous reactions to certain scenes.
I decided I better check for myself. What was truly scary about
this story was watching a family destroy itself because it
couldn't forgive. The family tension was much scarier than any
ghost in the story. There were copious amounts of bitterness
and unforgiveness that held control over the Cranes. Everyone
was mad at their father for the responsibility he bore with
what went down in the house. They were mad with Luke for
his drug use and his failure to make up for the pain that he had
caused the family. They looked down on Nell for not having it
all together. They looked down at Shirl for being bitter and
self-righteous. They were mad at Steven for turning their
struggle into profit. They were mad at Theo for shutting them
out.
Yet in spite of this, through all their years of suffering, peace
and healing was always just a few steps away.
One of the most frustrating things in the story is the parents
seeing the evidence of ghosts and evil malevolent forces all
around them, but ignoring them. They explained away the
supernatural with excuses like the pipes, mold, the age of the
house, or whatever naïve explanation. When you watch this
stuff happen, you automatically want to scream at them, “It's
ghosts! Get your flippin’ kids out of the house!” Yet even
though they are surrounded by evidence of the supernatural,
they don't acknowledge it until it overtakes them.
Seeing dangerous things and ignoring them seemed to be the
Crane M.O. This is the same status the Crane children dealt
with in their own forgiveness. They saw that there were things
that made them upset, bitter, angry, and frustrated; they even
knew it was doing toxic damage to their life. Rather than
dealing with it, they responded the same way their parents did
to ghosts.
Shirl’s biggest unforgiveness was with herself, and even in that
she let it fester. Scripture teaches us that when we have an
issue, we have to deal with it. We can't let it fester.
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their
fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you,
you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take
one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be
established by the testimony of two or three
witnesses.’” - Matthew 18:15-16
“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything
against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in
heaven may forgive you your sins.” - Mark 11:25
One of the reasons why unforgiveness was so prevalent in the
Crane kids is that they all saw it from their own perspective.
They were so stuck on their own pain and trauma that they
couldn't see how their shared experience impacted their
siblings and their family. Whether they were blaming mom,
dad, or Luke, all they could see is the failure and not the
family. You need to understand that empathy towards the
offender is important. Even though it can be hard seeing the
perspective of the one who offended you, empathy can lead to
forgiveness. Objectively examining the situation can help you
on the path to forgiveness.
So often we think that people are doing things to deliberately
hurt us or to spite us. We think that they are sitting back,
laughing or gloating over the damage they've done. In reality,
they probably haven't thought about what they've done to us
in days, weeks, months, or years. They may not have any clue
that they've done something wrong at all. When we learn to
see things from others perspectives, forgiveness becomes real.
We need to not only see things from their perspective, but we
need to realize that they are often as lost in the situation as we
are. None of the Crane kids fully saw the way their actions
impacted each other. Being able to see clearly can change
everything. Jesus prays this amazing prayer from the cross that
sets the tone for forgiveness
Luke 23:34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do
not know what they are doing....”
Think about this — the Cranes let their anger and frustration
fester for 27 years. That’s an entire lifetime. They wasted an
entire lifetime being bitter about their past and mistakes that
were made by their younger selves. Scripture tells us clearly
that there needs to be an expiration date on our drama.
Ephesians 4:26-27, “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let
the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not
give the devil a foothold.”
In the story of the Cranes, each of them had their own anchors
to how the house affected them. With Luke, he touched the
tall man's hat. For Nell, it was the bent neck lady. For Theo, it
was touching things. All their unique experiences became the
anchor or, rather, the foothold for what gave the house power
over them. However, once they were out of the house, their
unforgiveness towards each other is what continually gave the
house and their past a hold on them. For us, whenever we
don't let go of things like frustration, bitterness, and anger, it
literally gives Satan a foothold, grip, and anchor on our hearts.
It allows him to control different elements of our lives and suck
the joy out of the life we could be living.
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against
you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if
you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not
forgive your sins.” - Matthew 6:14-15
“Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or
sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother
and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God,
whom they have not seen. And he has given us this
command: Anyone who loves God must also love their
brother and sister.” - 1 John 4:20-21
We can’t experience true forgiveness until we are willing to
give it. We can’t live a fulfilled life with unforgiveness haunting
us day in and day out. We can’t have real relationships with
people we haven’t forgiven. In all honesty, we can’t have real
relationships with anyone if we are holding unforgiveness in
our heart towards anyone. Unforgiveness bleeds over into all
the areas of our lives, and it even hinders our relationship with
God. Every day we spend with unforgiveness lingering in our
lives is a day that is wasted.
You know the feeling when you are watching Hill House or
some other frightening tale of suspense? It’s that feeling of
dread you have because the music, lighting, or set up are
foretelling that something scary is there. It’s the feeling that
something is going to jump out at you. Something is going to
attack. Some horrible experience is about to befall you. It’s a
troupe of the genre, but it is effective. It’s like the beginning of
Hill House, when you are first introduced to the Bent Neck
Lady and you know something horrible is coming, but you
don’t know what. That is what it’s like to live with
unforgiveness. You live in a constant state of knowing
something dark is lingering right in front of you, but it is
beyond your sight. It’s waiting for your own bitterness to jump
out and ruin any situation. Like the Cranes, we can choose to
deal with what’s haunting us, or ignore it.
It took Nell’s death and the family’s return to Hill House before
they could finally deal with all their issues. Nell saved them.
She gave them the truth they needed to hear.
“There's so much I want to say to you all. Forgiveness is
warm. Like a tear on a cheek. Think of that, and of me,
when you stand in the rain. I loved you completely. And
you loved me the same. That's all. The rest is confetti.”
It’s time we held on to love and let our unforgiveness fall to
the floor.
Colossians 3:13-14, “Bear with each other and forgive
one another if any of you has a grievance against
someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all
these virtues put on love, which binds them all together
in perfect unity.”