“He’s Always Been: What Carl & Princess Donut Can Teach Us About Betrayal, Faithfulness, and Grace”

Guest Chapter from Scott Ward Spoiler warning.

Dungeon Crawler Carlis a LitRPG that has rocketed in popularity since its introduction in 2020. It’s one of those books that started small, and its fandom grew as people discovered it and recommended it to their friends, helped in no small way by Jeff Hays's audio book performance. At the center of the series are Carl and his pet, partner, and self-appointed glorious leader, GC BWR NW Princess Donut the Queen Anne Chonk. Together, they must survive a post-apocalyptic, Dungeons & Dragons-meets-Diablo dungeon filled with quests, NPCs, bosses, and spectacular violence. All broadcast for the entertainment of an alien audience. The story has captured people’s attention and created a fandom that absolutely adores the adventure, humor, and emotional depth.

Is it a “Christian” novel series? Absolutely not. It’s got every single reason you would give a movie an “R” rating. Plenty of swearing and potty humor throughout the book. It also has people who pretend to be gods and do awful, terrible things. But it also has characters who are in desperate need of Grace and connection. In other words: it’s like real life for a lot of people – which is probably why it connects with so many.

The core of the story is the relationship between Carl and his (pet partner) glorious leader, tortie Persian show cat, Princess Donut. He’s a no-nonsense guy in his late 20s who broke up with his cheating girlfriend right before the aliens arrived. She’s... a cat who gains the ability to speak and shoot missiles out of her eyes. She’s got attitude, expects to be obeyed, and knows how to play to an audience, but she’s also scared, uncertain, and defensive. Perfectly explaining this relationship is the fact that, early on, the game allows her to be the leader of their group (thanks to her higher stats than Carl), and she promptly names the group “The Royal Court of Princess Donut” and names Carl as her Royal bodyguard, because of course - that’s how cats see us.

But as I dig through the series, I keep finding nuggets of good stuff in this relationship.

Perhaps the best nugget I’ve found so far is found in Book 5 ( The Butcher’s Masquerade), when Carl and Donut discover that Carl’s cheating ex-girlfriend Bea was one of the “lucky” 0.001% of the population that survived the initial apocalypse. Donut is unimpressed because, even though she had always loved Bea, she knew that, along with being a cheater, Bea was a betrayer who had planned to give her away to get a newer, better show cat.

Donut unleashes a few paragraphs of anger at her.

“You danced with me. You sang to me. You made me feel loved. I didn’t do anythingwrong, and you were going to give me away... You were the only human I ever knew, and to me, you were everything. And I was so stupid, because I thought since I loved you, that meant you loved me.”

To me, that line stung deep. We’ve all lived through some kind of betrayal – some of us deeper than others. For you, maybe it’s a friend, significant other, or family member who betrayed you, left you behind, or chose someone else. Maybe it was a church. Whoever or whatever it was, that pain cuts hard and can really do some long-lasting emotional and spiritual damage. “Even my close friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted his heel against me.” - Psalm 41:9 But as Donut’s rant goes on, the focus of her anger shifts as she reveals that she’s also angry because of how Bea cheated on Carl and treated him and their relationship carelessly. She acknowledges that Carl is far from a perfect person, with all his disgusting habits and smelly friends and snoring. Then, she explains, quite succinctly, “We don’t [betray] people we love,” before choosing to end their relationship.

Throughout this series, Carl and Donut have been near inseparable. Even though she treats him like an underling sometimes and frustrates him to no end (she is, after all, a cat), they’ve been a two-person team that has taken on monsters that Gary Gygax would have never dreamed of. They’ve been through thick and thin. Friends, allies, and enemies have come and gone. They’ve saved each other through sacrifice, planning, and health potions. They are, in cat terms, a bonded pair. Then Donut sends Bea away with the truth readers have recognized all along: “You’re not my person anymore. Carl is. He’s always been.”

“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” - Proverbs 18:24

In that statement, Donut had learned something very important: she had learned to distinguish between affection and love. She had felt loved and had loved in return, but she learned that some relationships can be fleeting – even the ones that are supposed to be closest. She had learned that some people will mime love. They would say pretty words and proclaim love with their mouths, but that wasn’t actually love.

Carl, meanwhile, had demonstrated love. He had stuck with Donut through the worst times in their lives, had wept over her serious injuries, and had given of himself to help her. He had been with her, even when she was being her most catty self. Bea demonstrated love with words and an emotional experience, but Carl demonstrated that true love comes not with words... but with deeds.

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth." - I John 3:16-18

As I think about this part, I think about our relationship with Jesus. I think about how much love He has for us and how little we deserve it. Maybe we’re like Carl: smelly, rough, and the opposite of charming. Or maybe we’re like Donut: pretentious, naïve, and more certain of ourselves than we should be. It doesn’t matter. We’re still people in need of a friend who won’t betray us, won’t cheat us, and will be there no matter what. We’re the people who need Grace and love and forgiveness and support.

Even if we’re Bea.

It’s very easy to read Donut’s speech and immediately think of the Beatrices in our own life who’ve harmed us and hurt us. It is much harder – and more valuable - to ask whether someone else remembers us that way.

Because if we’re honest about it, sometimes, we’re Bea. We’re the betrayers. We’re the ones who hurt others. We’re the ones who make someone else feel valued because they’re useful. We’re the ones who think that an apology will fix everything and not do the work to repair that relationship. We’ll claim repentance but never work on changing that which caused us to stumble.

In the Bible, Peter certainly was a betrayer. In Christ’s moment of need, he openly rejected Jesus - someone he’d spent the last three years with - to save his own neck. Not once, not twice, but three times in a short space of time. He wept bitterly because of his denials, because he realized what he’d done.

"Simon Peter and another disciple were following Jesus. Because this disciple was known to the high priest, he went with Jesus into the high priest’s courtyard, but Peter had to wait outside at the door. The other disciple, who was known to the high priest, came back, spoke to the servant girl on duty there and brought Peter in. “You aren’t one of this man’s disciples too, are you?” she asked Peter.

He replied, “I am not.” It was cold, and the servants and officials stood around a fire they had made to keep warm. Peter also was standing with them, warming himself... Meanwhile, Simon Peter was still standing there warming himself. So they asked him, “You aren’t one of his disciples too, are you?”

He denied it, saying, “I am not.” One of the high priest’s servants, a relative of the man whose ear Peter had cut off, challenged him, “Didn’t I see you with him in the garden?” Again Peter denied it, and at that moment a rooster began to crow." John 18:15-18 & 25-27 (Also Luke 22:54–62)

It wasn’t until after the resurrection that Peter flipped the script, as Jesus asked him if he loved him, and Peter openly said he did – again, three times, mirroring the betrayal. Peter had wept over what he had done, and Jesus gave him the opportunity to reaffirm his love and live differently. Jesus could have rejected Peter, but He didn’t. In the face of betrayal, Jesus gave Grace, turningPeter into a shepherd, calling on him to “feed my sheep.” "When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!” - John 21:15-19 Whether we are justified in our anger because we have been wounded, or guilty because we have wounded others for our own benefit, we still need Grace. We need that path that points us to repentance and restoration. It may not heal the emotional damage, but it can point us towards what we really need: Jesus, the one place we can get Grace and restoration.

Even when it hurts.

Especially when it hurts.

Unlike Beatrice, Jesus won’t betray you or cheat on you. He is – and will always be there. He loves you and calls on you to repent and to make amends. "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” - Deuteronomy 31:6

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you,  leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift." - Matthew 5:23-24 Unlike Donut, Jesus won’t end your relationship. He doesn’t abandon those who belong to Him. He’s not motivated by anger. His love is not like Donut’s – limited, wounded, and tinged with anger. Instead, He loves you – perfectly - and calls on you to lay your burdens on him and to rest on Him.

"“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30

Jesus is your person. He always has been

------ About the writer:

Scott is a Christian, metalhead, and lifelong sci-fi geek who's spent 40 years building his own novel universe. He currently teaches everything from intro computing to AI and cybersecurity at a community college in North Carolina, and loves exploring where faith intersects non-traditional areas of life, whether it's anime, large language models, heavy metal, hockey (go Canes!), or the wonderfully unhinged world of Dungeon Crawler Carl. He lives in North Carolina with his wife and two cats, who have not yet demanded royal titles.