Thunderbolts* Vs The Void

Warning ** Spoilers for "The Thunderbolts* **Warning

What do you do when the darkness is expanding? What do you do when the loneliness is crippling? What do you do when you feel alone no matter how many people you are connected to? These are questions I’ve felt and asked myself long before ever seeing the Thunderbolts*. Coming out of the theater though I felt a little more encouraged just seeing these things expressed in such a boisterous manner. A movie like Thunderbolts* doesn’t necessarily have to have a “message” or “meaning,” but I'm grateful this one did. It expressed struggles many of us face in a clear way while wrapping it in action, comedy, and pew pews.   

The movie starts of with Yelena (Black Widow’s little sister (See “Black Widow” & “Hawkeye” for more of her backstory). She’s struggling with purpose, isolation, loneliness, regret, and a crippling emotional and mental weight. She’s been in this place for a while and it seems to keep getting stronger. If we’re honest many of us felt a bit seen as she was describing her struggles.  

She did things that many of us do, she found a random person who would listen (although he was tied up in the process), and when that didn’t help, she ended up going back to family. Alexi wasn’t much help in that area. Like so many of us, he tried to put on a front that things were better than they were, but eventually it got down to the truth. 

“You want to know when I was really happy? When I was serving….” 

Alexi told his youngest that when he was invested in life with a purpose, it was when he was happiest. That tracks, but just because we have purpose or work doesn’t always fix things. As Solomon writes in one of the most emo books of the Bible 

"So I decided there is nothing better than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in work. Then I realized that these pleasures are from the hand of God.” - Ecclesiastes 2:24 

As someone who chronically overworks, I can say that being busy doesn’t fix things, but the moments of isolation and stillness can definitely amplify all the things that we don’t slow down enough to notice. It’s usually the long solo drives, the nights in empty hotel rooms alone, or any of the moments that I find myself becoming overwhelmed and having some kind of existential melt down.  

This is one of the reasons that we are a people that struggle with the concept of one of the most often quoted scriptures 

“He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” - Psalm 46:10. 

Being still usually leaves us in places where we are able to hear and focus more clearly. And for many of us, that can be terrifying. We struggle to be still and know that He is God, because we struggle to be still because it makes us uncomfortable. It the song “Car Radio” by Twenty One Pilots, it’s expressed with an aching beauty. 

“I hate this car that I'm driving, there's no hiding for me. I'm forced to deal with what I feel. There is no distraction to mask what is real.... I have these thoughts, so often I ought to replace that slot with what I once bought, 'Cause somebody stole my car radio, and now I just sit in silence. Sometimes quiet is violent.” 

Yelena was filling her days with as much work and distractions as possible, but it wasn’t helping. Which is why when she met Bob in the shredder, she didn’t have a lot of hopeful things to tell him. 

  Yelena: “Loneliness. I get that, I get it. And that that darkness gets pretty enticing and then it starts to feel a little bit like....”  

 Bob: “A void.”  

 Yelena: “Yep,  a void.”  

 Bob:“What do you do about it?”   

 Yelena: “You shove it way down here, just push it down.”  

As Yelena, Bob, and you and I know, shoving it down isn’t helpful. When most people ask how we’re doing, they probably aren’t prepared for the full weight of our struggles, but expressing them, feeling them, sharing them, can be lifesaving. When Bob and Yelena met, they were slightly open with each other, but not truly. Before they made their less than grand exit from the shredder Yelena told Bob; 

  “We're all alone, all of us. Let's just stick together until we make it to the surface. And after that, you can start a fight with a Super soldier, get yourself killed. I don't care, OK?”  Moving on or forward without addressing what is actually hurting us is the standard practice for our world. Which is why when we watch movies like this or hear songs that are a little more honest than others, it hits so deep. 

I honestly praise God and applaud some of the Biblical writers for their transparency in pain and struggle. Their words are immortalized, and not just the shiny happy ones, the gut-wrenching ones. Scripture shows us time and again that it’s ok to be honest about the sadness, the pain, the doubts, and the darkness.  

“My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” Psalm 42: 3 

“I am worn out from my groaning. All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears." - Psalm 6:6 

“You have taken from me friend and neighbor— darkness is my closest friend” - Psalm 88:18 

These Psalms comes across like an emotional Facebook status that would have caused a family intervention or a wellness check from a pastor. But it’s not an isolated occurrence. 

Job, who probably had more reason to be in this place than anyone, definitely didn’t hold back; 

“Terrors overwhelm me; my dignity is driven away as by the wind, my safety vanishes like a cloud. And now my life ebbs away; days of suffering grip me. Night pierces my bones; my gnawing pains never rest. In his great power God becomes like clothing to me; he binds me like the neck of my garment. He throws me into the mud, and I am reduced to dust and ashes. I cry out to you, God, but you do not answer; I stand up, but you merely look at me.” - Job 30:15-20  

 “The churning inside me never stops; days of suffering confront me. I go about blackened, but not by the sun; I stand up in the assembly and cry for help. I have become a brother of jackals, a companion of owls. My skin grows black and peels; my body burns with fever. My lyre is tuned to mourning, and my pipe to the sound of wailing.” - Job 30:27-30 

And the one that always hits me the most is Jesus himself. Before His arrest as He prayed, he pleaded with His disciples to stand by Him, because He was fully aware of how overwhelming the feeling could be.  

Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” Matthew 26:38 

This is the man who raised the dead, performed miracles, calmed storms, and walked on water, yet His sorrow was strong enough that He asked his friends to stay with Him, and expressed His concerns to both them, and to God.  

The feelings aren’t something we should be ashamed or hide from, but shoving them down is definitely not the way to handle them.  

When Bucky finally corners the Thunderbolts* he can see what is weighing on them, especially Yelena; 

“Look, I've been where you are. You can run, but it doesn't go away. Sooner or later it catches up to you and when it does. It's too late. So, you can either do something about it now. Or live with it forever.” - Bucky. 

He encourages them to deal with where they are, to not run from it. For some of us that means expressing it, but in many cases we need someone to be able to express it to. I’m stubborn, and often I'll decline “venting” to people because I don’t think rehashing all the painful things inside can help me, or that those willing to listen have nothing to actually offer that would help. This is one of the ways we talk ourselves out of healing and being helped. We have to be willing to be open to not be crushed by the weight of everything in isolation.  

It took Alexi chasing Yelena down for her to finally open up.  

As she initially stated; 

“I don't have anything anymore. All I do is sit, and look at my phone, and think of all the terrible things I've done; and then I go to work, and then I drink, come home to no-one, then I sit and think of all the terrible things I've done again and again.” Those things were good starts but what she said that hit hardest was this simple honest statement. 

 “Daddy I’m so alone.”  

It broke me, not just because I felt for Yelena, but also because I felt this myself.  

Being open takes courage. It also takes knowing who you can trust with your honesty. In this process people will let you down. Alexi had already let Yelena down too. But that doesn’t mean they can’t grow as well.  

Alexi: “You were such a special little girl. Did you know this? You walked into a room. You made it brighter. You felt a lot of Joy.”  

 Yelena:“I don't remember that feeling.”  

 Alexi:“You were so kind. Do you remember why you want to be goalie on your terrible soccer team?”  

Yelena: “So I didn't have to run as much.”  

Alexi: “Maybe that too. But you told me. I want to be the one everyone can rely on if they make a mistake. That Yelena is still in you. I still see her. “  

Yelena: “I don't.” 

Alexi: “You're stuck, you're alone. You look only at the bed. When I look at you, I don't see your mistakes. That's why we need each other.”  

Yelena: “OK. That was really good.” 

Expressing the sadness and the darkness is essential, but having people you can trust to walk with you through it is even more essential. 

And let me pause to say, this will look different for everyone. I’d love to say the Church is always the best place for this, but the Church is people, and they can let people down too. Sometimes it will be the Church, sometimes it will be other community groups, sometimes it will be a therapist or counselor. The important thing is that you don’t do all of this alone (I do hope we can continue to grow to be the Church we are called to be though). 

This is why God calls us to community, why He encourages us to meet together, why the Church in Acts 2 actually grew and thrived. But if all we are in the Church and society are consumers and commenters, then we don’t have authentic relationships.  

Solomon may have been emo, but he has one of the most crucial scriptures on community in existence.  

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. 

Sometimes we just need people that are willing to walk with us, to help us make it through our own struggles. 

Yelena knew what Bob was struggling with.  

She knew that the void of all these feelings was such a dark place to be. Her words would come back to haunt her as Bob stated; “It’s what you said. We’re all alone. All of us.” Our words often make so much more of an impact than we can expect or understand.  

When he made the statement, “You all know the truth, you can’t outrun the emptiness,” It wasn’t a threat from a villain, it was a plea from someone who was alone and had given up. Yelena risked her own well-being to take a chance and connect with Bob. 

She battled her way through her own trauma to meet Bob in his.   

Bob was reduced to becoming a passenger to his own darkness, “The void.” 

Yelena: “So you’re gonna sit here and let it take over?” 

Bob: “No use in fighting it.” 

This is the place many of us find ourselves in. We see a darkness in our lives, whether it be an emotion, a situation, or a circumstance, and we just accept it as a permanent fixture. Oftentimes though the solution aren’t quick drastic ones. They are slow, deliberate, consistent choices.  

Yelena: “We need to spend time together. And even if it doesn't make the emptiness go away, I promise you it will feel lighter.” 

Bob: “How do you know?”  Yelena: “Because it already has for me. We could find a way out of here together. Will you try and leave here with me?” 

Yelena saw Bob was struggling, and met him where he was, and her team followed suit. We can be the people that set the example of reaching out for those who are in these places, as well as being the people that reach out for help when we are in these places ourselves.  

Before I use this scripture, let me make clear, I’m in no way saying mental or emotional struggles are sins. I just think there’s a solid concept to the applications in this verse for how we handle those things.  

“My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.” James 5:19-20.  

When one of us has lost their way, someone needs to go to them and help them find their way again. When we don’t just leave them in their struggle and isolation, we help prevent a lot of damage that could be done. We don’t need to leave people alone in their struggles, and honestly, we don’t need to just help in the easy things too.  

When they were making their way through the nightmare rooms, Yelena realized that the only way thought was by facing the hardest things. The things that were most painful and uncomfortable. 

Yelena: “Wait, you said that this was the nicest room. You found that the others were way worse, right?” 

 Bob: “Yeah.”  Yelena: “OK, well show us the worst.” 

Again, I’m not calling these struggles sins, but again, applicable action steps.  

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” - James 5:16 

We can’t heal from the things we hide. It’s when we open and expose them that healing is possible. Bob had the void hidden in the deepest parts of himself, and when exposed the chance for healing was possible. Some of us have hurts, pains, fears, and struggles that we’ve literally never expressed, we need to be able to share them to heal. I know that’s a big statement, and I'm not saying I've remotely handled that, but I know it’s needed.  

When Bob finally faced the void, he did the thing that we all do, we fight it. But something I realized in that battle, fighting darkness with aggression only feeds aggression. 

Beating yourself up never leads to healing. 

As Bob punched the void, he became engulfed in it. He was losing the battle against himself. But then Yelena broke free. Grabbed him and said; 

“I’m here. You're not alone.” 

The rest of the Thunderbolts* followed suit and literally defeated (for a time) the darkness by embracing their friend who was hurting. Now I know there are people who are mad that’s how the final conflict went down. I’ve heard people describe it as a “My Little Pony” ending. Or winning through the power of friendship. But can I be real with Y’all? That’s definitely more effective than just abusing yourself and living in isolation. You can’t attact yourself and expect to be whole. You can’t. People embracing you and your worst parts is what we are called to be.  

“Bear one another's burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.” - Galatians 6:2.  

When the team made it back and they were about to chase Valentina, they asked what happens when they leave Bob alone again, to which Yelena informs him; 

“We stick together from now on,” and Bob replies “Ok, that’s nice.” 

One of the phrases that was consistent in the movie was about the light inside. Alexi told Yelena when hers was dim, brighter, and bright. We should strive to help the people in our lives light be brighter, and to have people that can see ours clearly.  

The Bible is full of people who struggled with depression, anxiety, fear, and suffering. I initially had a lot of those stories and scriptures laid out, but I don’t think I need to drive home the point that things suck, I think I need to drive home the point that God cares for you and wants the light in you brighter. To deal with the things that dim your light and embrace the things that cause it the burn visibly.  

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” - John 10:10.  

Jesus told us there’s going to be plenty of things that dim us and fill us with darkness, but he wants us to have true life and have the light within us bright. He’s never left you alone. I hope you can know that and help remind others of the same.